PLEASE PASS ONTO PRODUCERS/STUDIOS/INVESTORS/TRUST FUND BABES

PARTY SCHOOL TREATMENT

Written by Johnny Jazz Townsend

Act 1

High School student Paul “Pubes” Puebel (THE BULLIES CALL HIM PUBES BUT HE’S LIKE WHATEVER) has one dream: to go to Princeton University. When other kids were studying the curves of the lady body, Paul was studying Greek sculpture. When other kids were studying the chemistry of love, Paul was studying BIOCHEMISTRY. When other students were studying the lost art of keeping a secret, Paul was studying BOOKS. 

But it gets bad because Paul lets Dougie “Dog Shit” Jenner drop his Princeton application off for him. But Dog Shit fucks up! And drops it off at the other P.U: PARTY UNIVERSITY!

ALSO IT’S THE ONLY SCHOOL PAUL APPLIED TO.

Paul has no choice but to go to Party University, do really well, and then maybe transfer sophomore year. But in order to do that, he’s going to have to…

PARTY.

HARDER.

THAN. 

EVER. 

BEFORE!

The only problem?

HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO PARTY!

Good thing he’s good at studying though!

Act 2

Paul Pubes Pubel shows up at Party University. People are smoking bongs, having sex, drinking dick sauce-AND CLASSES HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED YET. His roommate is Charles Utah Mingus, but people just call him C.U.M! He’s a gay dude. 

Paul’s in this gen ed class called Suckin On Puss: Manditory, or Optional? Which is taught by this woman’s study lady. He’s also in a class called 311, Everclear or Sublime: Making Decisions, and this class called Armpit Farts. 

BUT HE ALSO HAS TO TAKE A BLUNTOLOGY CLASS. TAUGHT BY GEORGE CLINTON*!

*VILLIAN

This is gonna be HARD. 

Pubes decides he’s gonna need a tutor. ENTER: TANYa. She is 

So hot

She is also a stripper to pay for school (WILL ALLOW US TO SHOW HER TITS IN TASTEFUL MANNER/INTEGRAL). Sparks start flying though and Tanya teaches Pubes about more than partying, she teaches him about love. 

But it gets bad because George Clinton tries to fail Pubes, and then Tanya learns Pubes is only using her to get good at school so he can transfer. 

If he’s gonna pass and also win Tanya back, he’s going to have to LEARN TO PARTY ON HIS OWN. 

Act 3

Pubes takes shrooms and meets Andrew W.K. On a vision quest. 

MONTAGE: Boobs, books, parties, keg stands, etc.

Pubes presents his final (he had to organize a party). It’s SICK. George Clinton is like Damn! Pubes has his entire woman’s study class (OH IT WAS ALL GIRLS EXCEPT FOR HIM) GO DOWN ON EACH OTHER! Everyone watches and is like “This is cool!” Then a Ska band plays. And there are strippers, all the strippers are from th’ place Tanya strips. She is at work and is the only person and asks her boss “where is everyone?” And boss says “Oh their at this killer party. Thrown by some Pube guy.” And she’s like “PUBES!”

She goes and Pubes is like and now Tanya will do ballet because it was her dream to really dance. Her mom was a balerina but she died (FORESHADOWING). So everyone watches Tanya do ballet and they are like ‘so cool!’ And then she’s like ‘Pubes’, Pubes goes ‘what’ and she goes ‘I think it’s time for a two person dance’ and pubes is like ‘what’ and she’s like ‘not that kind a dancing’ and she winks and we’re like whoa! And then we (tastefully) allude that tanya and pubes are nailing each other. Close up on Japanese exchange going “so hot.”

The dean of Princeton shows up and is like “I’ve seen enough. You’re hired.” Pubes goes “what?” “Princeton could use a cool guy like you. Really liven up the place. Besides also I saw your application and you’re smart enough.” And Pubes is like “No-The Pubes that wanted to go to Princeton died. I am who I am now.” And then the Dean of Party University is like “Wait-what if we joined schools?” PRinceton Dean: “I don’t see why not!” 

EPILOGUE:

Freeze frame photos over everybody during a killer party/graduation speech.

Pubel went on to invent a way to watch porno in your sleep. 

Tanya was run over by a car during a ballet recital (FORESHADOWING). 

C.U.M. (THE GAY ROOMMATE) found a cure for AIDS. He got so excited he got drunk and drove around to tell everyone. He killed a former stripper (TANYA!)

George CLinton smokes crack every day. 

THE END