John Z Townsend

Promise

I will make a best albums of the decade list by the end of the year.

Promise

I will make a best albums of the decade list by the end of the year.

All Falls Down (On Manny)

You were in the right. You saved a life, the groping was accidental. Even if it was intentional touching her, you still saved her life. She would’ve wanted it that way.

mannydrivesa:

First, sorry for using a Kanye West song as a title for a post, but it’s a good song. In fact, I would go as far as calling it great (I’m listening to it as I write).

This da the real one baby.

Now, lets get to the meat of this post. Today, on my way to interview Achilles Stamatelaky at the UCB Training Center, a lady tripped and I accidentally grabbed her lady breast parts. I was at the 34th Street station, just having gotten off the D train, and I was listening to Jordan, Jesse, GO!, an awesome and funny podcast. Like most listening devices do, my headphones are great at eliminating outside noise, creating a wall of imposed ignorance, allowing me to disregard or pooh-pooh everything that is happening around me (yeah, “pooh-pooh” is a real term, look it up).

She has no idea what she’s doing in college

So, when the train stopped at 34th Street, I got off and worked my way through a shit-ton of people. I’m talking Times Square crowds. I’m talking Disneyland in July. I’m talking fire escapes during a fire. The station was crowded.

She’s so precious with the peer pressure

Naturally, making my way up the stairs was difficult. Yet, being that bad motherfucker I am, I eventually made those stairs my bitch, but not without distraction. The stairs are broken into two separate flights and there is a small, flat “platform” that divide the two halves. The entire stairway is lined with metal, tubed handrails on both side; these, besides serving their purpose as handrails, can also be used to look cool, using them to slide down, something I have never done. These rails save faces!!

Man I promise, I’m so self conscious

As I reached the top of the stairs, four or five stairs from the tippity-top, which dump you in the main floor of the station, an attractive lady in a faux-fur jacket (so soft), a black, laced shirt (totally textured), black jeans (arduously ass-fitting) and high-heeled, leather boots (all available alliterations applied) tripped.

The prettiest people do the ugliest things

Now, this woman, who I will name “Bertha,” I will assume, was rushing to catch a train. She was straight up booking it and, as my hand will later tell, this proved to be a/an poor/awesome decision. So, Bertha was making her way down the stairs in quite a hurry when one of her heels hoodwinked her into believing it was providing support; unfortunately, it wasn’t, and she tripped right as she was passing me. She panicked and grabbed for anything she could, but I was there to make her fucking day.

Oh when it all, it all falls down
I’m telling you ohh, it all falls down

I stuck my strong, muscled, well-defined, upside-down crane, which some people call an “arm,” and supported Bertha, preventing her from fucking up her pretty ass physiognomy (look it up). I stuck my arm out and supported her as she hugged the handrail. By this point, she was almost parallel with the handrail, hugging it for support, with my arm sandwiched between her chest and the rail (look at drawing for clarification).

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